Share your thoughts

Sometimes life is so breezy (and easy) and other times, it really makes me stop and think -- often, light thoughts, but other times, darker ones.  Some of those thoughts, light and dark both, I share here on my blog.  Sometimes I write at length.

Other things are more private, and I don't share about them at all.  Or I mention them only peripherally, because they don't belong here, in the public domain.   

Whenever I write, even if I'm somewhat revealing and left a bit vulnerable, I'm aware that my words might live, cached or saved somewhere for eternity (literally!).  So even when something I've written is soul-baringly uncomfortable for me, I make sure it's not SO uncomfortable that a forever cache which replays it on command would be problematic. 

Likewise, some of my breezier moments I keep to myself, because they're mine, and not for public consumption.  Others, though, I share openly, because they bring connection, and I like connection.  I like saying, "Lookit!" to people around me, and sharing about things that excite me, or pondering aloud those things that confuse or amuse or befuddle me, seeking feedback and varying perspectives.

In short, my blog has a purpose -- but that purpose is not to represent ALL of me, in EVERY moment, in EVERY way.  Rather, my blog represents SOME of me, in SOME moments, in SOME ways.  It represents me truthfully... but incompletely.  You'd think that would be self-evident, simply based on the nature of what a blog is -- a "web log".  A list of "entries."  It's not a complete history, or an autobiography, or a  personal journal, but rather, something jotted down in discrete moments, and designed for consumption by family, friends, and -- yes -- strangers the world over.  Which means it should (if blog authors have any prudence at all) be restricted to publicly appropriate comments using publicly appropriate language.   Even when it reveals, and is personal.

My blog lets me communicate who I really am much more informally than my website allows, and much more cohesively (and with greater focus) than sporadic posts on a forum can accommodate.  I can share what matters to me... but selectively, with care and attention.  And I get to maintain control and steer content, which is fun... like when I'm on an ATC streak, or an Etsy find streak, or a "musing" streak like I am today.  A blog works for me, because I like sharing and connecting with people; because I like talking about art and bears and interesting folks I encounter, and topics that fascinate.  I like hearing feedback from others, whether it agrees with me or not.  A blog works for me because I like introducing the world to things I think are "neat" that others might find "neat," too.  And when I want to see what someone ELSE thinks is "neat", I visit THEIR blog!  I don't think me or my blog are the be-all, end-all, or that my problems are the world's problems or even very important, for that matter.  When I blog, I'm just scribbling my little scribbles (with a keyboard, of course), recording whatever is on my mind on that particular day, if/when I get a chance to sit down at my keyboard, and I'm usually thinking to myself, "Hey... If people read this and like it, cool!  I hope I've brightened and broadened someone's world."  If not, though, this blog's purpose is still meaningful to me; it catalogs what mattered to me, in discrete moments, and was appropriate to express publicly, at given points in time.  Which is also pretty cool, if you ask me. :)

I'm wondering about blogs today, and what they contain (images, musings, praises, reports, and complaints).  I'm wondering how they're perceived by people that are NOT ME (I know how I perceive them!), and I'd like to pick your collective brains for feedback on the questions that resulted from my mental meanderings.  I don't know that there are any right or wrong answers to my questions, per se.  I'd just be curious to hear from you.  And I'm not looking for back-patters or yes men here; please express your opinion (here or in email, if you're more comfortable) as honestly as you can. 

Here's what I wonder, this afternoon, about blogs, and what's in them:

• When you read someone's blog (not necessarily this one), do you assume it reveals everything (or nearly so) about its author?  Or do you approach the endeavor believing you're seeing only a snapshot of that person, at a given moment in time?  Would you say, after becoming familiar with a person's blog, that you "know" that person; would you feel confident drawing conclusions about that person's character?  Or would you say that you have learned a few things which give you a flavor of the blog's author, but don't remotely fill in all the blanks about that person?  Would you expect the blog author has retained some mystery... or do you assume they're flung it ALL "out there?"

• Are small problems invalid, and those who express them, self-involved, simply because bigger problems exist in the world, and things "could be worse"?  Put another way:  Should people who struggle with such things as:  a difficult boss; children failing school; a workaholic spouse; or back pain; feel guilty about blogging those real (but relatively small) struggles, or feel superficial sharing them?  Are their concerns irrelevant and insignificant, simply because, elsewhere in the world, soldiers are (bless their hearts and efforts) dying in Iraq; children are dying of cancer; and tsunamis and earthquakes claim thousands of lives.  ??  Those are all terrible things, of course; that's not my point.  My question is:  Is there a standard, in terms of what qualifies as a "legitimate" concern when it comes to what's included in a blog?  Or is it all relative?

• If you encounter a blog that troubles you (content, tone, author, etc.), do you feel compelled to write the author or post a comment, in an effort to alter the content, attitude, or tone or the blog?  Or do you simply stop reading that blog and browse elsewhere?  Why?

There's more, but for now, these are a start.  I'll be curious to read what people have to say on this subject.  Again, feel free to email me if that's more comfortable; I receive a fair amount of blog comments in that form, I assume (perhaps incorrectly) for reasons of confidentiality.

Thanks for anything at all you have to say on the subject.  :)

Comments

[Amanda]

I like hearing about your braces, good and bad points, it helps as my daughter may go through this soon or later in life. There are always worse things happening to other people, the whole point to me of a Blog is to share whatever you feel at that moment, good, bad, little, big. Its a little flashlight into your world, but you get to see that bit you shine the torch at, maybe a glimpse of whats at the sides. But, theres plenty of stuff you can't see. In the end a Blog is a bit of sharing in an unsharing world. Thats my take on a little bit of what you wondered.

[Bev]

well, you've opened a fine "can of worms" here! So, here are my thoughts on your questions.

No, I do not assume when I read someone's blog that it reveals everything about the writer. People are too complex, and I think most of us who blog reveal PARTS of ourselves online (I for one, have lots of hidden parts). It actually means more to me to read the blogs of people I have actually met, especially those whose artistic work I adore because I feel it helps me understand the effort that goes into their work. Art is not created in a vaccuum, and it is insightful to read about the "everydayness" of the artist's life (I wish Monet and Van Gogh had been bloggers!) I do think how much is "flung out there" depends upon the individual -- some folks fling more than others.

Small problems are NOT invalid. We all have our issues. I think it would be an enormous statement of ego if we all thought that we could magically change the world. Our small problems in common reveal our humanity. I think of the blog community as the 21st century’s backyard fence. We find our neighbors and our “kindred spirits” wherever they may be – I live in Colorado, I regularly read the blogs of people in California, Tennessee, Ohio, Utah, Pennsylvania and Texas as well as an assortment of other countries. There is a great deal of “lifting up” of spirit in the blog community. We share each other’s burdens, ask for prayers, complain about our “little” trials (and big ones), we are friends who have never met. For me this is nothing short of life saving because it lets me reach out and “meet” people that have lives in common which simply does not happen in the town I live in.

I try to apply the adage “if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all”. I know I will not agree with everything everyone out there writes. (right along with – “you’ll draw more flies with honey than vinegar”) It has to do with what I’m personally looking for when I read blogs – to stay connected, to learn new things, to check up on friends – but I believe strongly in free speech, so even when I do not agree with what someone says, I would not lecture or attempt to alter. That being said, however, I frequently write notes of encouragement even on blogs of people who’s blogs I have never read before. It is my feeling that when someone has the courage to put it out there when they are in despair we should try to help them with positive thought, inclusion in prayer, a virtual pat on the back. And I greatly appreciate it when others do that for me as well.

I'll be interested in seeing what other's have to say about this.

[Melissa]

Good questions Shelli! I read a huge variety of blogs both for work and play. I have a response to your second question in a long winded round about way... I stumbled across a blog in 2005 when I was looking for something for work. The normal topic of this blog, was not techy related but a mix of personal, gossip and "women's" issues if you will. Even though it wasn't really work related, I subscribed to it in my work reader and once a week or so I'd pop in and catch up. I liked the chatty, witty, self-deprecating tone of the author and I liked that part of its focus was on healthy body image. A while ago something pretty major happened in her life and the tone of the blog changed and she became a bit obsessive and brittle about certain things and while I wasn't connecting with the blog so much anymore, I'd still pop in and read the posts that interested me as I figured it was part of the change/healing she was going through. However, one day the author made one of those throwaway smartass comments. It was a highly prejudiced and nasty comment and I was gobsmacked. I felt that at its core the comment went against the whole premise of what she had been advocating on her blog in the past 3 or 4 years that I'd been reading it and that that one comment revealed a lot more about the author's true thoughts than she intended making a mockery of all that she had said previously. At the time, I wanted to post a comment on the post but I thought I may have been over-reacting and so decided to keep reading the blog for a while. However, that one throwaway comment, kept resurfacing in my mind whenever I visited there and I have since deleted it from my reader. On reflection, I do wish I had made a comment about why I was stopping reading as I was really really disappointed in what she said. I know a lot of vulnerable people were reading that blog, one such person in my own life and that one tiny comment really could have had life altering consequences. I know that sounds overly dramatic but I'm not given to histrionics - it was that huge.

Of course I'm going to disagree with people's viewpoints on the world, just as I'd never expect anyone to agree with all of mine or tolerate all of my neuroses all of the time. I don't feel the need to point that out on a post, unless it's valid and constructive and they've invited comment. So whilst someone's post about their new braces, child's cuteness or who they're voting for doesn't resonate with me personally, I like the curious mishmash of art, personal happenings and plain old life that is written about on most of the blogs I read. It gives me a greater understanding of the person and often helps me understand how and why they create what they create. Sometimes a post that is totally removed from my own life can have an insight that sucker punches me in the stomach and challenges me to rethink my viewpoint. Anyway, if I'm not interested in that post i can skip it. Heaven knows I can't keep up with all the blogs I want to anyway ; )
But I can't and will not tolerate sexist/racist/homophobic comments or people being out and out mean about people involved in their artistic industry. It's not what I'm about as a person and I find no joy in reading about such things. I have no qualms removing people from my blogroll if I feel that's what they're about. Sorry...rant over!

[Melanie Jayne]

Interesting and fascinating questions! When I first decided to start my own blog I took the conscious decision not to reveal too much about myself, that was hard! In general I am a pretty open and honest person, but often my words are miss understood or there interpretation does not necessarily correspond to my vocal meanings and thoughts. Being that my blog relates to my art I try to keep it confined to that, with added little insights into my private life. The second and most important reason for my decisions not to include every part of my life in a public blog was to protect my young family, yes I may be over cautious, but I am a mother and with the worries of the world I feel my babies need that protection. If I only had me to think about, I would probably reveal much more about myself.In actual fact I could often do with personal advice and opinions that are rather trivial in proportion to world wide tragedies, but they are a big deal to ME! so I find my comfort in other blogs that I can relate too.
With respect to other blogs, I occasionally pop by your blog to see your little pieces of art, but along with other blogs I also like to read your posts that make me think and question my own thoughts on certain subjects (just like this one), other blogs I visit simply because I love to look at the authors interior decorating schemes, I think you'll know the blog I mean!
Blogs have meaning to the individual and therefore should represent the individual author in any way whatsoever they see appropriate to themselves and there own thoughts and possibly needs or comfort. However I am with Melissa I do avoid blogs or any other internet sources that causes hatred in any form, I pass them by without a second glance. I dont post on all blogs I read, I may not always agree with their thoughts or opinions, but thats fine too, I dont have to agree but I will respect those words.
After all my contributions here I still don't think I have answered your questions, so for me a blog can be what ever you want it to be. It can be as trivial or as in depth as the author feels appropriate to their given personal desire, and if that includes a good ole rant well so be it, but not rants of hatred.

[Shel]

I'm so enjoying your comments; I've received some via email, too. So far the way you all approach blog reading is pretty much my own take on things, too. I love reading blogs; they're little windows into people's minds, lives, hearts, souls. I think maybe it's the next best thing to being a therapist, 'cause you get to listen in on quasi-secrets and inside stuff you wouldn't otherwise be privy to, and that has a sort of magic to it. I know you know what I mean...